


The Run And Go

by bloodkink



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Choking, Ex Sex, Fetish, Fighting, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Pet Names, Post Panic! Split, Post split, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Sad, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-05 07:44:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1810696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodkink/pseuds/bloodkink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He paid for his food, walking out. He bumped into someone, making him almost fall, but a strong hand caught him. He blinked, the hand keeping the grip on his leather jacket, and a soft voice spoke.</p>
<p>"Hey Ryan."</p>
<p>Ryan blinked, and he was happy he wore shades because his eyes were wide. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, watching Brendon in front of him. Fuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i left out sarah just bc easier??
> 
> comments are helpful?

_And I begin to envy the headlights driving south_   
_I want to crack the door so I can just fall out_   
_But then I remember when you packed my car_   
_You reached in the back and buckled up your heart_   
  
_For me to drive away with_   
_I began to understand_   
_Why God died_

 -

_Drip, drip, drip._

Ryan looked up, the mirror mostly foggy from the heat from the shower. He stared at his reflection, deep brown eyes watching himself, and he wished they didn't. He didn't look at it for a very long time though, for some reason he just couldn't. He leaned back, hair damp, sticking to the sides of his face. Really, the boy had some hair on him, but his pulled back do hid it. Ryan dried off, taking his time since he wasn't going anywhere today anyways. He swallowed, walking out and throwing the towel in the hamper. He found some clothes, slipping them on and walking into the living room. Caption Knots was there, waiting for him of course, which brought a tiny smile to his face. The small kitten always made him feel better. 

_Meow._

"You hungry? Huh?" Ryan spoke softly, reaching down and petting the kitten slowly. Knots purred quickly at the touch, and that made Ryan smile even more. He walked to the kitchen, the cat on his heels of course, almost making him trip. He rolled his eyes, getting out the wet food, peeling back the top, and dumping it in the cat's bowl. He walked out, sitting on the couch, checking his phone. He almost dropped it, and he swore his heart stopped beating.

_Bden: hey._

Ryan was completely frozen really, not knowing what to do or if he should respond. Ryan could feel his chest constrict, and he closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't open his eyes until his phone buzzed again, and he could feel his heart slowly give out.

_Bden: i know you saw the message ryan, you just can't keep ignoring me._

Ryan couldn't believe Brendon, texting him again like that. Why now? What did he want? Ryan ended up putting his phone on the couch, going to check on Captain Knots before he did anything else. He sat on the kitchen floor, watching the cat eat as he thought to himself. He can still remember how Brendon smelled, how he spoke, the way his right eye squinted when he was truly happy. He swallowed down a choked 'shit', pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them tightly. This wasn't fair, and Brendon fucking knew it. He fucking knew that this wasn't okay. Ryan closed his eyes, some of his hair falling in front of his face, and he could feel tears prickle at his eyes. 

_"You're so cute when you're angry," Brendon smirked, and Ryan could actually kill him at this point. They had been on the bus way too long, and Ryan always got cranky when they were. He ignored Brendon though, on his sidekick that was way more important. Well, until Brendon snatched it away from him. Ryan bolted up, seeing the smirk on Brendon's face widen, and yes, he knew now he was going to kill him. "C'mon Ry, stop texting Pete and pay attention to meeee," Brendon pouted, backing up as Ryan walked forwards._

_"Give me my fucking phone back," Ryan hissed, it being too late in the night for this. "I swear to God Brendon-"_

_"You swear to God what?" Brendon challenged, and Ryan squinted his eyes._

_"I will stick your eyeliner pencil up your fucking ass,"  Ryan growled, and Brendon blinked before he laughed. He launched at the boy then, grabbing at his wrists as he made Brendon hit a wall. He struggled, since Brendon was stronger than him, and soon was turned around.  He watched the boy, almost baring his teeth as Brendon let out a laugh of triumph._

_"Whoops?" Brendon hummed, quickly putting the sidekick in his back pocket. He closed the space between the two, and Ryan adverted his eyes. Brendon's fingers slowly rubbed at his wrists, over the veins, feeling the quickening pulse. "Pay attention to me Ryan," he mumbled softly, more sweet this time. Ryan looked back up, watching Brendon as he closed the space between the two. The older boy's lips pressed against Ryan's softly, and his eyes darted down for a moment just to watch. He soon let them close, kissing Brendon softly as he felt the tight grip on his wrists slowly loosen._

_"You're an attention whore," Ryan whispered, and he didn't know whether it was meant for Brendon or himself really. He could feel the boy chuckle against his lips though, and Ryan breathed slow._

_"You love it," Brendon whispered back, tongue licking across the boy's bottom lip. Ryan didn't say anything else, just kissing Brendon back harder to push down the words of 'I know' down his throat. He loved him and he was so screwed._

Ryan could hear his phone ring, and he didn't know if it was the first time it had been ringing or if this was going to be the last, but he quickly got up and out of the kitchen. He looked down, seeing that Brendon was calling. He breath was stuck in his throat, and he didn't know what to do. He picked up the phone, hand shaking as he pushed the green button. He put it up to his ear, and waited, expecting really for Brendon to just hang up.

"Hey Ryan," Brendon breathed out.

He didn't.

Ryan blinked, it being a long time since he's actually had Brendon's voice pressed up against his ear like this. He could hear a soft chuckle, and it sounded slightly forced. He bet Brendon was alone though, he could never have the balls to call in front of Spencer or Dallon. 

"You don't have to speak I guess, but I just wanted to talk to you.. Wait shit, you might need to talk back for this to work after all," Brendon joked, and he probably had a forced smile on his face too. "I wanna meet up," he said next, slightly quick, as if he was being rushed. Ryan hung up at that, hand still shaking as he shook his head. No, Brendon just couldn't walk right back into his life after everything that had happened before. He put his phone in his back pocket, and he needed to get out. He refilled Knots' food and water bowl, just in case, and left. 

Ryan went to go get food, some local drive-in at Vegas, since it was better than anything. He needed some food, even if he wasn't planning to get out today. He walked in, getting into a booth and looking through the menu. He looked around the place mostly though, already knowing what he wanted so there was really no need going through the menu. He chewed on his bottom lip, seeing that the place hadn't really changed since he was in high school. That was crazy to him, how something like this from his teen years could survive. He breathed out, telling the waiter what he wanted, and got back to looking around. He mostly looked out the window, seeing people pass, some alone and some with others. His thumbs twirled, waiting for his food. Once it was there, he started to eat, keeping his head down and his shades on. He could hear the sizzle of patties coming from the kitchen, and he missed this place more than he thought he originally did.

_"So, would you call this a date?" Brendon asked, the eighteen year old boy's eyes wide. Ryan rolled his eyes, sucking on his straw and keeping quiet. "B-Because if it is, this is my first date," he spoke softly, and that made Ryan blink. Sure, Brendon was Mormon, but he had to go on a date or two. He looked up, locking eyes with Brendon as the boy seemed frozen in his seat._

_"Have you had your first kiss?" Ryan asked, completely pushing off the first question. Brendon blushed at that, shrugging as the waiter brought them food. It was probably around midnight, and Ryan brought Brendon to get a bite to eat after the movies. "Answer the question, Brendon," he said, and he shook his head._

_"Answer my question, I asked one first," Brendon pouted, and Ryan rolled his eyes._

_"Yes, it's a date. Happy?" Ryan said, watching Brendon smile to himself as pink covered his cheeks. Ryan rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his burger. "Now, my question. Have you had your first kiss?" Ryan asked, and Brendon mumbled something as he stuffed his mouth. Ryan smirked, small and barely noticeable. "What?" He question again._

_"No! O-Okay, no I haven't," Brendon huffed, avoiding Ryan's eyes as he ate. Ryan didn't bring it up again though, making a new conversation quickly. They ate, Brendon making small talk mostly, and Ryan stuffing his face. Once done, Ryan paid for the bill, walking out with Brendon and to the car. He turned up the radio and drove in silence to their apartment, thinking to himself. He would take peaks at Brendon mostly, seeing him look out the window at all the lights of Vegas, eyes big. Ryan could watch him forever, he thought, with that innocent look on his face. Brendon Urie was still so pure in the City of Sin. Ryan got out, walking with his hands stuffed in his pockets, waiting as Brendon unlocked the door. He totally had to work tomorrow, but he wasn't going in. Neither was Brendon. Once they walked in, Ryan turned on the lights and dropped it jacket. As soon as Brendon turned, Ryan's lips pressed against his. Brendon made a surprised noise, eyes wide as Ryan watched it. Soon though, the older boy closed his eyes, leaning into Ryan, and he kissed him softly. His fingers rubbed against his smooth jaw, kissing him smoothly, softly. Ryan pushed Brendon against the door, and Brendon gasped softly into his mouth. This he used to slip his tongue in, and Brendon let out a moan, which made him smirk. "R-Ryan," he mumbled, already out of breath, and the boy pulled back._

_"Keep ordering that strawberry smoothie, it tastes good," Ryan breathed out._

"Sir.... Sir? Uhm..." the waiter sighed, and Ryan blinked. He looked over, seeing the bill. "Here's your bill, Sir," he said, and Ryan nodded. He paid for his food, walking out. He bumped into someone, making him almost fall, but a strong hand caught him. He blinked, the hand keeping the grip on his leather jacket, and a soft voice spoke.

"Hey Ryan."

Ryan blinked, and he was happy he wore shades because his eyes were wide. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, watching Brendon in front of him.  _Fuck._

"You still eat here too? Huh, this place hasn't changed a bit.." Brendon said, voice slightly on edge. As if Ryan would fall apart right there. Ryan cleared his throat, shrugging as he fixed his glasses. "I still get the strawberry smoothie, you can never let a classic die, ya know? Anyways, I'm so happy I ran into you because I wanted to hand and stuff... I don't know if  _you_ want to, but I really wanna catch up Ryan. It's been like, what? Three years? Holy s-"

"Brendon," Ryan breathed, catching the boy's attention. 

"Huh?"

"Your hand." 

"Oh, sorry," Brendon said, taking back his arm. He let go of the jacket, and Ryan could breathe. He watched Ryan for a moment before looking down as his fingers combed through his hair, and Ryan could tell he was trying to calm himself down. "Listen, Ry-"

"Don't call me that," Ryan snapped, and Brendon blinked back the hurt in his eyes.

"Sorry, old habits die hard," Brendon mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. He sighed, and you could probably cut the tension with a knife if you had one. "I just want to talk," he continued, voice soft and careful. Ryan adverted his eyes, thinking about it, even though he shouldn't. He shouldn't because Brendon is going to leave as soon as he came. Ryan swallowed, shrugging. "Ryan, c'mon, just a friendly chat! I'm not gonna like, kill you or anything!" He exclaimed, walking forwards. Ryan stood where he was, eyes flickering back at Brendon as soon as he moved. 

"Uh-" Ryan cleared his throat, which seemed to be way too dry at the moment. "We can go back to my place and talk," he mumbled softly, and Brendon broke out in a grin. Even his right eye did the derpy thing it did. Ryan quickly adverted his eyes, "Did you walk?" He asked, and Brendon shook his head.  _Thank God_. "Just follow me home," Ryan said, and walked off to his car. Once inside, he let out a soft, panicked noise. Brendon Urie was going to his house. He drove home, checking a lot if Brendon was following him still. He was, each and every time. He sighed out, parking. Ryan got out, hearing Brendon's door close. He walked up to his front door, palms sweaty, and unlocked it. He walked in, and Brendon gasped. He froze, eyes blinking as Brendon made a soft sound.

"Is that a cat?!" 

"U-Uhm.. Yeah."


	2. Chapter 2

"The cat is  _so_ cute!" Brendon exclaimed, and Captian Knots seemed to like the older boy as well. Ryan chewed on the inside of his cheek, watching Brendon as he pet the small kitten, earning purrs from him. He walked forwards, clearing his throat, and Brendon turned around and blushed. "O-Oh, sorry!" He said, standing up and smiling at Ryan. He shrugged it off, walking forwards.

"You want something to drink?" Ryan asked, rubbing the back of his neck. Brendon nodded, and sat on the couch. Ryan entered the kitchen, and let out a breath he didn't know he was even holding in. He swallowed, getting Brendon a glass of water before walking back out to see that Knots was in the boy's lap.

"Your cat really likes me!" He said, and Ryan could tell he was trying to be as happy and friendly as possible to avoid the fight that was probably going to come. He sat down, smiling at Knots and giving Brendon the drink. Their fingers touched, and Ryan could feel his throat go dry. "Thanks," he said, taking a sip before setting it down. They were both quiet for a while, and the awkwardness was thick and suffocating them both. "So-So how have you been?" 

"Why did you want to meet up?" Ryan questioned back, totally ignoring the question as he looked forwards. Brendon sighed, knowing that this wasn't going to be easy as he thought. "Why? We haven't talked in a year, and now you want to "catch up" on how I've been?" Ryan scoffed, tone slightly venomous. 

"Sorry for caring," Brendon mumbled, pursing his lips as he sighed out. "Ryan, I didn't want to leave this on a bad note," he said, petting Knots slowly. Ryan didn't say anything though, shaking his head.

"Really? Because I'm sure you broke up with me?" Ryan snapped, turning his head and glaring at Brendon. He could see the older boy flinch, and duck his head, and Ryan continued. "Oh, and for a  _woman_ ," he added, scoffing and rolling his eyes.

"I'm not even with Sarah anymore, Ryan," Brendon sighed out softly, and Ryan could see the hurt in his eyes. "She dumped me for another guy," he said, and Ryan let out a dry laugh. 

"Oh, isn't that great! You know how it feels now, and you finally understand why I was so upset and left the band?" Ryan said, standing up and shaking his head. "Do you think you can just ask to meet up with me and say you're sorry, then magically get back together with me?" He asked, one hand on his hip as his eyes squinted. Brendon swallowed down the lump in his throat. "Oh my  _God_ ," Ryan laughed again, mostly dry. "You are so naive it _hurts_ ," he sighed out, fingers going through his hair as he looked at the ground. Brendon slipped from the couch, glaring at Ryan.

"Stop.. Stop treating me like some kid Ryan! I'm not a kid!" Brendon snapped, and the younger boy rolled his eyes. "You think you're so much better than everyone, than me, and it... It pisses me off!"

"Why don't you just leave then? Just leave!" Ryan said, voice catching a few higher octaves. Ryan watched Brendon, sending him a death glare as the boy stepped forwards. "You had no trouble leaving me when I needed you, so what's the difference now?" Ryan sighed out, watching Captain Knots leave. 

"Ryan, listen, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, I regret ever leaving you," Brendon sighed out, and Ryan shook his head. "Really, I don't know what I was thinking... I didn't know why I left someone who believed in me from the very beginning. Someone who pushed me to be the lead singer of a band, or to help leave my home even though I was scared that my parents would disown me," he frowned widely, and Ryan adverted his eyes.

_Ryan kissed Brendon softly, rubbing his jaw slowly as he felt the boy slowly start to relax. Ryan smiled, pulling back and watching as Brendon sighed out._

_"It's going to be fine, your parents are nice," Ryan whispered softly, watching as Brendon nodded to himself. As if he was trying to convince himself that his parents wouldn't take this horribly. "I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you Bren," Ryan smiled, kissing him softly one more time. They were at their apartment, cuddling on the bed as Brendon explained that his family wanted to know why he wasn't at church every Sunday. Ryan played with the boy's hair, anything that would keep him calm really, wanting Brendon to go through this and tell his parents about him leaving for good. The band was going to get signed, they were going to write their first album, go on tour, make music videos, the whole deal._

_"You-You really think they won't disown me?" Brendon asked, voice small. Ryan shook his head, and Brendon nodded._

_"They love you baby," Ryan mumbled softly, kissing his nose, then his forehead. Brendon tucked his face into Ryan's nose, and the younger boy held him tightly against his smaller frame. "If they do though-" and Ryan could feel Brendon's body tense again, "they don't deserve you."_

_"Ryan..." Brendon mumbled, a soft warning._

_"That's what you told me about my father, what's the difference here?" Ryan asked, voice the regular monotone. Brendon didn't say anything for a while after that comment, and he eventually nodded._

_"You're right," Brendon mumbled softly. Ryan nodded back, fingers trailing up and down Brendon's spine slowly. "Besides, I have you to care for me," Brendon pulled back, watery eyes but a happy smile._

_"Forever and always, baby."_

"Ryan, please, I want everything to go back," Brendon's voice cut through, making Ryan blink and look over. He took a deep breath, and shook his head. He walked forwards, squinting his eyes.

"You think you can fucking do this?! You know how fucked I was after you broke up with me?" Ryan yelled, and Brendon flinched. "I wanted to hate you so much, so, so much. I wanted to never think about you again, I wanted to erase every damn memory from my head," Ryan gasped, his fingers clutching into a fist. Brendon's eyes flickered down slowly, and carefully flickered back up.

"You wanna hit me?" Brendon asked softly, and Ryan glared at the older boy. 

"I want to destroy you Brendon, I want you to fucking suffer," Ryan growled loudly, and Brendon didn't flinch this time. Ryan groaned, pushing Brendon back, making him hit the wall. The older boy was oddly calm, and this pissed Ryan off even more, "You think you can just come in and be Mr. Good Guy again? That's fucking bullshit!" Ryan gripped the boy's shirt tightly, and Brendon opened his mouth.

"Destroy me then Ryan," Brendon breathed, and Ryan noticed his eyes were a little dark. Ryan swallowed, jaw tight as he growled low under his breath.

"Fine."


	3. Chapter 3

Ryan had Brendon pushed up against the wall, fingers pressed into his wrists tightly. He glared at him for a moment, Brendon breathing a little hard against him, but he didn't care. He didn't give a shit, he wanted to do this for a very long time. Ryan pressed his hips against the older boy's, feeling Brendon let out a shaky groan. 

"I fucking hate you," Ryan growled, and Brendon just tilted his head back and nodded.

"Show me how much you hate me," he told him, and Ryan pressed his lips against his tightly. He bit and sucked on his bottom lip, not really giving Brendon a chance to properly kiss back, and he didn't care. He just wanted to feel Brendon against him, he wanted to feel him whimper and squirm against his touch. He let his tongue shove past the boy's lips, wrapping around Brendon's, winning dominance easily. His finger nails dug into Brendon's wrists after that, hearing the older boy hiss softly against his mouth. It felt so good, having Brendon under his touch again, feel his lips against his own, and shit, the sounds the boy was already making was going straight to his dick. Ryan bit the boy's lip, splitting the skin a little as he pulled it back slowly. He let go, feeling some of the blood on his tongue, and he licked his own lips. 

"You're such a fucking whore," he growled lowly, attacking Brendon's neck with his lips. The older boy whimpered, head hitting the back of the wall as he nodded. This is what he missed about Brendon, how submissive he could get in a matter of seconds. Ryan really didn't think they ever fucked when he was this angry, but he knew that Brendon would be into it more than he should.  Brendon was always a whore for him, and he loved it. He loved how he could make the boy easily fall apart. "Coming back like this, you're so fucking dumb," he growled, feeling Brendon's pulse under his lips. 

"Ryan please-" Brendon mumbled, breathing hard against the taller boy. He knew that Brendon was already hard, he could feel it against his leg, and not to mention his own hard-on coming. He tugged at Brendon's wrist hard, dragging him to the couch quickly. He laid down, letting Brendon straddle him. He looked up at him, seeing Brendon's neck as marked with dark hickeys. He let his hips buck up, making Brendon gasp and grind his own back down. Ryan bit his bottom lip softly, grabbing the boy's hips and bucking his hips up hard. God, the boy's ass felt so thick against his jeans, and he really needed these clothes off. Ryan's fingers gripped the bottom of Brendon's shirt, pulling it up a little and Brendon helped him halfway through. His fingers went over the flat of his stomach, Brendon grinding down, wanting the friction. Ryan shook his head, holding Brendon's hips firmly, making the boy whine.

"Suck my dick," Ryan told him, watching as Brendon was about to oppose, but Ryan squeezed his hips harder. "Now." He added, and Brendon bit his bottom lip with a nod. He watched the brunette slowly get off his lap, kneeling in between his legs as he popped the button on the jeans slowly. "Faster," Ryan commanded, earning a look from Brendon, but the boy knew Ryan was in control at the moment. He quickly got the jeans off of the older boy, seeing his slightly hard-on through his boxers. Brendon took a breath, wasting no time and leaning down to lick over the bulge. Ryan breathed out, biting his bottom lip as Brendon sucked and licked over the spot till he was fully hard (which didn't take long at all.) Brendon pulled down the fabric, licking his lips as he licked all the way down to Ryan's balls. He took them into his mouth, and Ryan let out a small noise from up above. God, he forgot how nice Brendon was with his tongue, shit he missed this. Brendon licked back up, taking Ryan into his mouth tongue flat under his cock as he bobbed his head quickly. Ryan's fingers tangled in the boy's hair, breathing out hard as Brendon loosened his jaw and took more of him in. "Fuck," Ryan mumbled, mouth open as he watched Brendon suck his cock below him. He bucked his hips, making Brendon choke a little, but he soon got used to it. Thank God Brendon didn't gain a gag reflex. Ryan gripped his hair harder, making he boy moan, closing his eyes tightly as he felt Ryan's cock in the back of his throat. The boy bobbed his head, eyes still shut tight since almost all of Ryan's cock was shoved down his throat. It was a good look though; Ryan always liked how the boy looked on his knees. Ryan moaned, arching his back a little as Brendon licked around him, and fuck, he was getting close. Ryan watched as Brendon opened his eyes, tears forming in the corner of his eyes, but he still bobbed his head. Ryan whimpered, breathing hard, but pushed Brendon off before he could come. Ryan sat up, chest rising and falling, but before he could catch his breath, Brendon ended up on his lap again. His lips pushed against the older boy's, hearing him whimper and whine.

"P-Please touch me," Brendon begged softly, and Ryan could hear how bad he wanted it in his voice. Ryan hummed back, pulling back and tugging at Brendon's jeans. He got the point, sitting up a little a unbuttoning them, taking them off and leaving it on the floor. Ryan could see the precome stain on the boy's boxers,  seeing how hard it was. He smirked, hands going around and sinking into the back of Brendon's boxers. He gripped his ass, hearing the boy groan quickly, and Ryan knew that the boy would still get off on having his ass touched. He smirked, gripping and massaging Brendon's ass, watching him grind into the touch, his head back and mouth open. "Ryan, fuck," Brendon moaned, feeling the boy's bulge rub against his own through the boxers. 

"You're such a sult, fuck,  _look_ at you," Ryan breathed out, swallowing thickly. "I bet you thought about me with her, didn't you?" Ryan asked, glaring heavily at the younger boy. Brendon whimpered, blinking down at Ryan. One of his hands came out, slapping the boy on his ass hard. "Didn't you?" he asked again, Brendon gasping, eyes widening. 

"Y-Yes, oh  _God, yes Ryan_ ," Brendon moaned loudly, and Ryan couldn't help but buck his hips up against Brendon. "I thought about you every time she touched m-me,  _every time_ Ryan," he admitted, and he kept letting his hips buck up. He knew the boy would, he knew that Brendon wouldn't be over him even though he acted like he was. 

"Did you think about me deep inside you, huh? My hands on your skin, not hers," Ryan said, but stopped to let Brendon take off his boxers. He felt the boy take off his shirt, and Brendon couldn't keep his hands off Ryan. "You want me inside of you right now, don't you? Huh?" Ryan asked, feeling Brendon's ass pressed against his cock tightly. 

"Yes, yes, fuck Ryan," Brendon nodded, grinding down heavily. "Just  _fuck_ me, shit," he groaned, and Ryan couldn't wait any longer. 

"Prep yourself," Ryan told Brendon simply, and the boy stopped grinding and soon started to suck on his fingers. Ryan's hand wrapped around the boy's cock as he did this, spreading the precome around the head down the shaft. He wrapped his hand tight enough around him to make Brendon hiss, then started to pump him slowly. Brendon let two fingers enter him, quickly opening himself up for Ryan. Brendon made soft sounds, changing from bucking his hips into Ryan's hand to his fingers. God, the site was fucking hot, watching Brendon fuck himself on his fingers like that. He was getting there too, Ryan could tell by the watt his breath hitched every now and then. He probably had three fingers in by now. Brendon quickly stopped though, his hand returning, and Ryan didn't waste time adjusting himself and pressing against the boy's hole. Ryan pressed in, hearing Brendon hiss as he gripped the older boy's shoulder hard. Ryan closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip as he continued, "You're so tight." He whispered, all the way in. He blinked his eyes open, seeing Brendon above him still adjusting. Ryan didn't really care, ending up moving before Brendon told him too. This caused the boy to gasp, eyes widening as he let out a choked noise next. Ryan kept eye contact, a slight glare in his gleam, and Brendon just whimpered from the slight pain. Ryan slowly rose his hips, letting Brendon ride at a slow pace for a while until he got bored with the friction. His hands traveled down the boy's chest, grabbing his hips next and  _making_  Brendon ride him. 

"F-Fuck, Ryan-" Brendon groaned, letting the older boy do what he wanted. He knew he was in control, he knew he couldn't say no. Ryan bucked his hips, moaning out as he continued quickly, liking the feeling of Brendon around him. All he could think about was the first time they fucked, then all the times after that. It just rushed through his head, making him fuck Brendon even harder. He could hear the boy wheeze above him, and maybe he was going a bit too hard too fast, but Ryan was so into it he didn't care. He didn't care about how Brendon felt right now. 

"Shit, shit," Ryan cursed softly, feeling sweat form on his skin as he watched the boy above him bounce. He watched as Brendon moaned and threw his head back on several occasions. He was made to be a bottom, with all of his features and actions. Brendon moaned the boy's name, his hips grinding down hard as he could feel Ryan get deeper as he adjusted his position. Ryan's hand went back to the boy's cock, wrapping around it and pumping him as he rode Ryan.

"F-Fuck! Oh my God," Brendon choked out, making Ryan smirk as he continued to jack him off. He knew he would be close in only a matter of time, even if Ryan wasn't close himself. Brendon always came before Ryan, he didn't know why, but it was just a thing that happened. He bucked his hips harder, knowing that they would be way past sore tomorrow, but Brendon's ass would feel even worse. A few more minutes, and he could hear Brendon above him whine. "C-Close, shit," he warned, and Ryan moved quickly. He took his hand off of Brendon's cock, pulling out and flipping them over. Brendon blinked, looking above at Ryan who was now on top of him. "Wh-What?" Brendon asked, breathing hard as he watched Ryan above him smirk. "Fuck, I was close!" he yelled, frowning at the older boy. 

"Don't use that tone," Ryan said softly, still breathing hard as he wrapped his hand around the boy's throat and slowly squeezed. Brendon blinked, mouth falling open for a moment, but didn't struggle against his hand at all. "I'll make sure I come, and you don't, and you know I will," he said, lining himself up against Brendon as he loosened his hand. He entered Brendon again, hearing him moan, feeling his pulse against his hand quicken. He pulled back out, quickly pushing back in, feeling Brendon arch his back and whine. He fucked him quickly, adjusting his legs to where they were over his shoulders so he could get deeper. Brendon squirmed under him, from the pressure of his hand and his cock, he couldn't get enough. Ryan groaned, hair falling in front of his face as he leaned down and kissed Brendon hard. He sucked on the boy's bottom lip, licking over it and using his tongue into Brendon's mouth. The younger boy kissed him back hard, probably bruising each other's lips, but neither of them cared by this point. Ryan moaned, breathing hard through his noise as he snapped his hips against Brendon's ass. 

"Ryan, Ryan, R- Fuck!" Brendon yelled against the boy's mouth, and he must of hit his spot. He made sure to keep the angle as well, hitting his spot harder each and every time. He could feel Brendon's thighs shake, and he knew he was close again. He sucked on the boy's bottom lip, pulling it out before letting go. He watched Brendon's face, seeing how he arched and he would push into Ryan's hand and whimper. Fuck, he was  _so_ close, Ryan could tell by him gasping for air and his cock twitching against his stomach. "I'm close, p-please Ryan. P-Please let me come," he begged, as if Ryan would pull out again. Brendon opened his eyes weakly, looking up at Ryan as he saw him nod. Ryan quickly applied pressure against the boy's neck, snapping his hips.

"Come for me baby," Ryan mumbled hotly, breathing hard as Brendon's eyes shut tight. He wheezed against Ryan's hand, arching his back as his eyebrows furrowed together. He came hard, shooting up his chest, getting a little on Ryan's. He cried out the boy's name, thighs shaking as Ryan fucked him hard through his orgasm. His hand didn't let up either, still pressed tightly against Brendon's throat as he fucked him into his couch hard. He was close too, and he wanted to come so bad. It only too a few more thrusts before he was coming hard into Brendon, feeling the boy shake, and he removed his hand. Brendon gasped, choking as he took as much air as he could get. Ryan slowed to a stop, feeling Brendon shake underneath him. Ryan looked at him, seeing his eyes were closed and mouth was open, hair all in his face. In that moment, Ryan could really see 2005 Brendon, and it made his chest hurt. He could see it so clearly, and he couldn't push back the feeling of ' _I miss you so much_ ' back. Ryan slowly pulled out, breathing hard as he got up. He didn't look back at Brendon though, not daring himself to.

_Brendon laid in Ryan's bunk, chest slowly rising as he fell asleep. Ryan sat on the edge, left only in his boxers as he starred at the floor. They fucked, like any other night really, but Ryan fucked up. He pushed his fingers through his bangs that were damp with sweat, keeping his eyes on the ground as Brendon sighed in his sleep. Ryan got up, going to the makeshift kitchen in the bus, getting a water, and coming back to the bunk. He totally fucked up, and there really wasn't anywhere to go either. He knew he might be making a big deal, but with Brendon, you never knew. That night, while Brendon was under him, moaning and swearing, Ryan told him that he loved him. He breathed it out, hot and steamy against the boy's skin, leaving an invisible tattoo that Ryan could only see. It would always be there on his neck, like a tattoo kiss people would get when they were drunk._

_Ryan let out a small, forced laugh. It wouldn't be such a big deal if Brendon would have left it alone, but he ended up saying 'I love you' back. He came right after that, as ironic as it was since it almost gave him a panic attack. He acted as if it didn't phase him though, not to worry Brendon, but he knew the boy would think he could say it all the time after that. Really, Ryan gave him the back stage pass to his fucking soul, and now he couldn't take it back. How could you even take back something like that? Even worse, Ryan meant every word he said tonight, every fucking word. He took a sip of the water, feeling the cool liquid run down his throat, and he sighed out, closing his eyes. He could feel Brendon move in his bunk, making small noises in his sleep. Brendon seemed to never sleep soundly unless he was sleeping with someone. It was actually very cute, well, to Ryan at least. He rubbed his face, taking another drink of water before he felt the boy's warm hand against his back. He blinked, looking behind him and seeing Brendon rubbing his eyes with one hand. He pulled back his hand, and you could see the tiredness in his eyes._

_"What are you doing up Ry?" Brendon asked softly, yawning a little. When Ryan didn't answer, Brendon frowned, sitting up a little. "You okay?" he asked, and Ryan nodded with a small smile. "Why don't you sleep with me? We have a big day tomorrow, ya know.." he nodded, and Ryan put down his water. He got under the covers with Brendon, feeling the boy wrap his arms around him tightly, protectively. Ryan closed his eyes, sighing out as he felt Brendon rest his head on top of his own._

_"Hey, I love you, ya know.. I wasn't just saying it because I wasn't thinking clearly," Brendon said, rubbing Ryan's back slowly._

_"I know.. Trust me, I know Brendon," Ryan said, and he could hear the smile in his tone when he said good. "I love you too," he whispered, feeling Brendon kiss his forehead softly at that._

_"I know, trust me."_


End file.
